The past few weeks has been filled with ups and downs that have left me at a loss for words.
I've learned a few things. Through trials and hard times, if you focus on loving those around you, you will flourish. If you make a choice to be joyful, it will be harder for you to fall down and cower under life's anxieties and uncertainties. Something about joy gives us strength and a supernatural energy to fight against struggles. Merely "hanging on" leaves us weak and weary- but when we are proactive in choosing joy we remain strong and unmoved from what grounds us.
I have found myself wanting to break down when life's uncertainties hit me. Wanting to fall to the ground, defeated. But I hate feeling defeated. I hate being unhappy and hopeless. I despise it. I think for a while in my life I enjoyed wallowing in those feelings, because they felt safe, but now I can't stand to be in the same room as Defeat and Hopelessness.
What gives me strength is choosing joy. It's a choice for me, not necessarily a feeling. Through this choice I do things in life that offer strength- small things like Laugh and Encourage...Enjoy simple things, choose to Invest in those around me. I cannot merely hang on, I have put myself out there, offering myself to others, giving all that I've got. This is the key for me.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Monday, April 15, 2013
The Humility of Moving "Home"
Is it real? Am I dreaming? Did we really just pack up everything, quit our jobs, quit school and move to North Louisiana?
I keep thinking we are on spring break and we are going back to Indiana in a few days, but we're not.
I'm walking down the street with my sister-in-law and she's helping me process this decision we've made. I can't stop staring at the azalea bushes- they look like they've grown to be over 50 years old. They have that old south plantation look- wild and wise- so bright and beautiful- framed with old pine trees and nestled in front yards of gorgeous old houses. We walk by magnolia trees and I see their seeds on the ground, reminding me of mango seeds that littered the dirt roads of Niger and Haiti.
It's amazing how quickly life can change.
We needed to leave the South to know that it's where we wanted to be for now. Fears of "giving up" or deciding to "stop the adventure" rang in my mind for a while, but moving here only means that a new adventure has started in a different way.
Since we've been here, I have found a job doing exactly what I want to do- cooking at a homeless shelter and teaching clients in the shelter how to cook with me. We have found a potential place to live in our favorite part of town, and we have felt nourished by the presence of family and old friends. It doesn't seem like a coincidence that we have been provided for instantly in these ways- it makes perfect sense.
Spring is in full force here, and I have worn shorts every day since we've been back...
A few things that I learned from Indy/The Midwest
-Composting and Gardening--now that we know how, we can do this anywhere we live
-An appreciation for the infinate types of craft beer
-If you make clam chowder correctly, it actually is really good
-My definition of "winter" has changed drastically
-Basements are a normal part of houses in many places that are above sea level (this still blows my mind)
I keep thinking we are on spring break and we are going back to Indiana in a few days, but we're not.
I'm walking down the street with my sister-in-law and she's helping me process this decision we've made. I can't stop staring at the azalea bushes- they look like they've grown to be over 50 years old. They have that old south plantation look- wild and wise- so bright and beautiful- framed with old pine trees and nestled in front yards of gorgeous old houses. We walk by magnolia trees and I see their seeds on the ground, reminding me of mango seeds that littered the dirt roads of Niger and Haiti.
It's amazing how quickly life can change.
We needed to leave the South to know that it's where we wanted to be for now. Fears of "giving up" or deciding to "stop the adventure" rang in my mind for a while, but moving here only means that a new adventure has started in a different way.
Since we've been here, I have found a job doing exactly what I want to do- cooking at a homeless shelter and teaching clients in the shelter how to cook with me. We have found a potential place to live in our favorite part of town, and we have felt nourished by the presence of family and old friends. It doesn't seem like a coincidence that we have been provided for instantly in these ways- it makes perfect sense.
Spring is in full force here, and I have worn shorts every day since we've been back...
A few things that I learned from Indy/The Midwest
-Composting and Gardening--now that we know how, we can do this anywhere we live
-An appreciation for the infinate types of craft beer
-If you make clam chowder correctly, it actually is really good
-My definition of "winter" has changed drastically
-Basements are a normal part of houses in many places that are above sea level (this still blows my mind)
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