I've never been a fighter. I've always been afraid of conflict. I keep my mouth shut when I know I should speak up (I'm sorry past coworkers, because I know during those staff meetings...you were mad at me). I try to make peace, even when it's not my place. I avoid confrontation.
Recently, a particular situation involving a loved one had me furious. My heart started racing, and out of defense for my loved one, I raced over to the situation and was ready to fight for this person. Literally,....fight. I am not a very big person, but something fierce was ignited in me in that moment and I was about to loose all control. I was ready to protect my loved one through my words and if needed, my fists. I'm not kidding.
It was such an invigorating experience.
I ended up having a confrontational conversation with the antagonist that surprisingly ended in peace. And a little bit of fear on their part.
I have been listening to story after story from residents about how they fought for something they believed in. Some of these people are so incredibly resilient. They will fight for what they believe in; they will risk everything. It is both admirable and terrifying. It has lead them to prison and homeless shelters. But it has also instilled a self-respect that no one can take away.
I want to be an activist for what I believe in. I want to stand up for it, fight for it, and speak for it no matter what it costs me. I had an opportunity to do this yesterday...
I confronted another person on something I stood strongly for. During the confrontation, I was ready to make huge sacrifices to fight for my stance. My heart was racing. My mouth went dry. I could hear my heart thumping as I spoke my mind...
I spoke loudly. Assertively. Clearly and confidently...I'm sure I was stressing the person on the receiving end out majorly...
And in minutes, I had won the battle.
The battle that I would have been terrified of fighting 1 year ago.
It was an amazing feeling.
So I'm learning that if you have a heart, if you have opinions, and if you have things you genuinely care about, then you will have to fight. Fighting for what you believe in means being loyal to it, as well as the people who represent your beliefs too. I want to be loyal and I want to be an activist for my convictions.
Actually, I want to start a fight club because I'm learning that fighting for what you stand for is so thrilling that I want to do it everyday.
Not really, but as I discover this new part of me, I am amazed at how as humans we never stop discovering new parts of ourselves. We never stop changing or growing unless we choose to.
